I hate my job!

[Diomedes]

when you're submerged in this kind of crap all day, is it any wonder you might hate your job?

Hello Future Trend Setters!

As [the new CEO] mentioned at the re-organization meeting, part of the new structure will consist of a committee called C-Trends.  I'm absolutely thrilled to have the opportunity to develop a creative, productive and insightful team.  Since something like this doesn't currently exist at [the company], we really have an opportunity to do something unique.

Some of you have expressed interest already and I thank you very much for your enthusiasm!  Ideally, this committee will consist of at least one person from each region coupled with 6 or 7 additional "experts".  I will be asking things of you that may or may not fall outside of your normal job.  We will have a great deal of fun, but there will be work to do as well.  Therefore, please join if you truly have something to add and the time to dedicate to meeting our objectives.

I'd like to schedule our first meeting quickly, so we can begin to take shape and start on our journey.  Please review the attached information and contact me as soon as possible.  Additionally, please let me know what you're passionate about and what your area of expertise is .  Are you a world traveller, a fashionista or a techie?  Perhaps you're a film buff, a foodie or a voracious reader?  Maybe you're obsessed with art or music and you get invited to every club opening?  Or you're just tapped in somehow and you have ideas to share.

The final C-Trend Committee roster will be sent out on completion.

I look forward to hearing from you and building an innovative, exciting, creative team!

The count is down to 31 work days left before I resign.  Can't happen soon enough. 

[PhillyPhanInDC]

Hello Future Trend Setters!

As [the new CEO] mentioned at the re-organization meeting, part of the new structure will consist of a committee called C-Trends.  I'm absolutely thrilled to have the opportunity to develop a creative, productive and insightful team.  Since something like this doesn't currently exist at [the company], we really have an opportunity to do something unique.

Some of you have expressed interest already and I thank you very much for your enthusiasm!  Ideally, this committee will consist of at least one person from each region coupled with 6 or 7 additional "experts".  I will be asking things of you that may or may not fall outside of your normal job.  We will have a great deal of fun, but there will be work to do as well.  Therefore, please join if you truly have something to add and the time to dedicate to meeting our objectives.

I'd like to schedule our first meeting quickly, so we can begin to take shape and start on our journey.  Please review the attached information and contact me as soon as possible.  Additionally, please let me know what you're passionate about and what your area of expertise is .  Are you a world traveller, a fashionista or a techie?  Perhaps you're a film buff, a foodie or a voracious reader?  Maybe you're obsessed with art or music and you get invited to every club opening?  Or you're just tapped in somehow and you have ideas to share.

The final C-Trend Committee roster will be sent out on completion.

I look forward to hearing from you and building an innovative, exciting, creative team!

The exclamation points alone make me want to hit someone with projectile vomit.

[Susquehanna Birder]

I will be asking things of you that may or may not fall outside of your normal job.

Sounds like something that involves kneepads.

[Diomedes]

That's essentially what this bitch is up to, but she's doing it by email to the whole company rather than with the CEO behind closed doors, like a discreet corporate whore ought.

[Diomedes]

Ya, so you read the email above about the spiffy new committee?  Well, here's a reply she got today.  The idiot copied all.

Hi [Jane Doe]
This sounds like a tremendous committee. I was born and raised in DC, lived out west in San Francisco and Scottsdale and now call Chicago home. I have been in the restaurant business for 16 years, I am a sommelier and love to travel. I have too many hobbies to mention. What I have that may be must prudent are fabulous contacts all over the world. Let me know how I can help.
Anxiously, Excitedly and Triumphantly Yours,
[John Doe]
Yes, the guy with the long-winded phone messages

I couldn't make this shtein up.

23 work days until I resign.  10 more after that.  If I can manage not to punch someone in the face.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

The "John" Doe that wrote that note sounds to be an expert sperm sommelier.

[Diomedes]

On the one hand, playing Warfish against you people makes me feeling like the dumbest motherfarger in the world.

On the other hand, this guy somehow holds down a job.  What a goddamned moron.  Look up prudent, dickface.  Learn how not to copy the whole company on your reply.  farg.

So I guess I'll be alright, even if I am still damn near the dumbest motherfarger in the world.

[Philly_Crew]

So I got promoted which means at least I'll make more money taking it from the man.

I'm excited to start a new C-Trend comittee!

[Diomedes]

On Friday our entire department (25 people) was rushed into the board room first thing.  HR came around and got each of us and told us we were wanted in the board room.  People weren't allowed to finish emails or even phone calls.  HR told us we had to get up and go into the board room.  We got there to find only each other..no management. 

This room is glass walled on two sides with expensive curtains.  Each time a new person was brought into the room, the HR girls pulled the curtains past the door so we couldn't see out.  We asked what was up and they told us they didn't know, were asked to bring us in and have us wait until our bosses came with some kind of announcement. 

30 minutes pass.  I'm making jokes about  being gassed like Jews in the holocaust, and HR is appalled that I could be so cynical, but the people are with me, not them.  It's creepy, being held in a room with no info and all..of course they think I make more sense than the HR bitches.  At one point, on woman got up and pulled the curtain to look out and was told to let go the curtain and take a seat.  We weren't allowed to leave the room.

It was farging bizarre.

Eventually, in comes the CEO with the VPs and Directors.  He announces that our boss--the COO--has stepped down to work directly with the executive team and this new guy will be guiding the IT/Operations/Pricing/Master Data groups.  The outgoing COO is not present, though we all know he showed up for work that morning.

They must have walked him out of the building or something, because when they finally let us out, he's gone, and hasn't been back since. 

I hate these people.

[Seabiscuit36]

maybe he was walked out in cuffs Dio, if thats the case, it will be in the paper i would think.

[Diomedes]

He wasn't arrested.  He was a corporate snake who got eaten by a bigger corporate snake.   

[mussa]

oh the drama!! what a shtein place to work and be treated. corporate scum written all over it.

[Sgt PSN]

So basically, you and everyone else had their work day interrupted without explanation so that some overpaid corporate pole smoker could gather his shtein and leave without the embarrassment of being seen by the worker bees.  

[Diomedes]

Yeah, with the added benefit of intimidating the workers by putting them all in a room from which they couldn't leave or see anything. 

[Sgt PSN]

You should gather everyone else that was held captive with you and sue for mental anguish or something.  Try claiming that a hostile working environment was created and you were subjected to sever mental trauma.  If you want the big bucks, try claiming Stockholm Syndrome and say that life outside of the glass box is scary and hard to cope with.