Players arrested '06

MadMarchHare · February 13, 2006, 11:02:27 AM

Might as well have it's own thread. There are usually a lot of these.......

QuoteJOHNSON THROWN IN THE TANK

Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson is in hot water, again, after allegedly threatening a police officer on Sunday.

Johnson was charged with aggravated assault and resisting arrest after showing high respect for an officer of the law by allegedly uttering the following: "You ain't the only one with a Glock. If it wasn't for your gun and your badge, I'd kick your ass."

We kind of like that one. It can be adapted to so many other scenarios, obviating the need to actually kick someone's ass.

"If it wasn't for the fact that you pay my salary, I'd kick your ass."

"If it wasn't for the fact that you gave birth to me, I'd kick your ass."

"If it wasn't for the fact that you can kick my ass, I'd kick your ass."

Alas, modern society now frowns not only on the actual kicking of asses, but also on threats to do the same.

The brouhaha occurred when an officer was ticketing a limo that was double parked (man, that sure sounds familiar). When the officer tried to arrest Johnson, he refused to be cuffed. He eventually got Maced, and was overpowered by a group of officers.

The bigger problem for Johnson, as we see it, is that he currently is on probation for charges of driving around with a gun in his car. Judges who give criminal defendants probation usually don't take kindly to this type of behavior, which means that Johnson's probation could be revoked -- and he'll end up behind bars.

Johnson also is subject to discipline pursuant to the league's Personal Conduct Policy. Our guess is that, upon receiving a letter from Paul Tagliabue informing him of the terms of his coming suspension, Johnson will say to himself, "If he wasn't the Commissioner, I'd kick his ass."

Johnson, a 2004 draft pick of the Bears, played in every game during the 2005 season, starting in four. He finished with 19 tackles, six assists, and five sacks.

My, I'm sure glad this fine, upstanding young man lives two blocks from my home.

Diomedes · February 13, 2006, 03:06:08 PM

Good idea for a thread.

Too bad about the neighborhood problem. Good luck with that.

MadMarchHare · February 13, 2006, 03:16:41 PM

Well, drunk, I almost went and carved an Eagles emblem in his lawn with Roundup two years ago before we played them. Kinda glad I wasn't too drunk.

Diomedes · February 13, 2006, 03:33:39 PM

That totally would have been worth getting arrested for...and if he caught you and beat you up, KA-CHING!!

Feva · February 15, 2006, 06:44:56 AM

Go to his house and tell him, "If you weren't a 300 lb NFL Defensive Tackle, I'd kick your ass."

MadMarchHare · February 16, 2006, 07:58:23 AM

Damoin McIntosh, domestic battery

T_Section224 · February 16, 2006, 08:03:43 AM

Quote from: MadMarchHare on February 13, 2006, 03:16:41 PM
Well, drunk, I almost went and carved an Eagles emblem in his lawn with Roundup two years ago before we played them. Kinda glad I wasn't too drunk.

wuss

Diomedes · February 16, 2006, 07:17:58 PM

Quote from: MadMarchHare on February 16, 2006, 07:58:23 AMDamion McIntosh, domestic battery

update:

QuoteDolphins | Police and courts: D. McIntosh
Thu, 16 Feb 2006 09:25:44 -0800

Jeff Darlington, of the Palm Beach Post, reports Miami Dolphins OT Damion McIntosh, who was arrested Wednesday morning, Feb. 15, after admitting he pushed his wife to the ground at the couple's Davie home, was granted a pretrial release without any bond but he must follow several court-mandated rules. While the judge noted that McIntosh would not be treated differently because he is a football player, he released the lineman based on his lack of any prior trouble and his good-standing relations with the community. Upon his release, McIntosh cannot have any contact with his wife, Precious, while staying at least 500 feet from her, the judge said. Also as part of his release, McIntosh can not visit any shooting ranges and will have his concealed weapons permit immediately suspended. He also cannot drink any alcohol during the period, and he cannot leave the country for any reason.

The dude's wife's name is Precious. How could you NOT hit someone named Precious?? Who the farg names their kid that? Jesus farging Christ!

EJ72 · February 16, 2006, 09:41:42 PM

Quote from: Diomedes on February 16, 2006, 07:17:58 PM
Quote from: MadMarchHare on February 16, 2006, 07:58:23 AMDamion McIntosh, domestic battery

update:
QuoteDolphins | Police and courts: D. McIntosh
Thu, 16 Feb 2006 09:25:44 -0800

Jeff Darlington, of the Palm Beach Post, reports Miami Dolphins OT Damion McIntosh, who was arrested Wednesday morning, Feb. 15, after admitting he pushed his wife to the ground at the couple's Davie home, was granted a pretrial release without any bond but he must follow several court-mandated rules. While the judge noted that McIntosh would not be treated differently because he is a football player, he released the lineman based on his lack of any prior trouble and his good-standing relations with the community. Upon his release, McIntosh cannot have any contact with his wife, Precious, while staying at least 500 feet from her, the judge said. Also as part of his release, McIntosh can not visit any shooting ranges and will have his concealed weapons permit immediately suspended. He also cannot drink any alcohol during the period, and he cannot leave the country for any reason.

The dude's wife's name is Precious. How could you NOT hit someone named Precious?? Who the farg names their kid that? Jesus farging Christ!

There was a player in the Braves organization about 10 years ago whose first name was Wonderful and his middle name was Terrific. Wonderful Terrific Monds III. His father and grandfather had the same name.

PhillyPhreak54 · February 16, 2006, 09:54:07 PM

Ha...I remember that guy. If he wasn't teased mercilessly then he should've been.

SD_Eagle5 · February 16, 2006, 10:21:40 PM

Quote from: Diomedes on February 16, 2006, 07:17:58 PM

The dude's wife's name is Precious. How could you NOT hit someone named Precious?? Who the farg names their kid that? Jesus farging Christ!

That's the name of the crazy dudes dog in Silence of the Lambs.

PhillyPhanInDC · February 16, 2006, 10:56:21 PM

T_Section224 · February 17, 2006, 07:52:32 AM

Quote from: SD_Eagle on February 16, 2006, 10:21:40 PMThat's the name of the crazy dudes dog in Silence of the Lambs.

she puts the lotion in the basket

MadMarchHare · February 17, 2006, 08:16:32 AM

Is this her?

Diomedes · February 17, 2006, 09:50:00 AM

Quote from: Diomedes on February 16, 2006, 07:17:58 PMThe dude's wife's name is Precious. How could you NOT hit someone named Precious?? Who the farg names their kid that? Jesus farging Christ!

Precious passes on pressing charges.

Players arrested '06

SD_Eagle5